We’ve looked at team communication generally, but what happens if you and another team member just don’t seem to be able to get along? If it is a one off, chances are you’re just caught in the crossfire and the other person could be having a bad day or have things going on outside of work that are worrying them.
If it is something you notice happening often, then it can be helpful to consider if communication preferences could be at play. We all have communication preferences. Some people prefer to communicate facts whilst others talk about situations in terms of their feelings. Some like to focus on the details whilst others want to look at the big picture. Consider how you might be interpreting what is being said and whether there could be another explanation for a situation. If you know you tend to only hear the negative and brush over the positives, could this be impacting on your reaction to the words that are being said?
Whether it is a one off or not, the key to improving your interactions lies in attentive listening and trying to make a connection. Communicate what matters to you, your values and beliefs, your wants, and needs, and find out what matters to them. Remember Google’s project Aristotle? The teams that perform the best weren’t necessarily made up of close friends, but they did give everybody an equal chance to talk and were good at picking up on, and respectful of how other team members were feeling.
